Sunday, October 09, 2005

The Proverbial Straw That Broke The DingBat's Back

Its was a miserable wet Saturday morning. What better a time to read the Globe and Mail, The Saturday addition the fat one, filled with book reviews, NY Times crosswords and editorials. The taste of the week, the editorial candy du jour, is Mr. David Dingwall. Mr Dingwall, you will remember is the ex-cabinet minister/for profit lobbiest/President of the Canadian Mint who finds himself in hot water over his exorbitant spending habits at the mint and well some barely legal lobbying practises. Typical ex-Cretianite stuff, further fodder to the Conservative obscession that is, Liberal waste and Cronyism. Yes well ya, okay sure it seems same old same, the usual Conservative bashing of a free spending Liberal, except, except, get this, DingBat has the guile to charge the Canadian taxpayers, yes with pricey meals at exculsive golf courses, but get this, this is the thing thats gonna stick, Dingbat is charging the taxpayers for $1.07 for a pack of gum.
My favorite editorial in the Saturday Globe was by Christie Blatchford, titled "Money for nothing and your Chiclets for free", not only because I want my I want my MTV, but she makes it painfully clear that any normal person can barely remember to file meal receipts, taxi receipts, or even hotel receipts. A normal person, busy with everyday life, tends to lose track of receipts, and well a normal person would not have the guile to charge a pack of gum to the company... we might charge it to the company charge card, but to expect the taxman to pick it up, never. So I read on, finally resting my eyes on a Rex Murphy peice "The gum will stick to Dingwall", fair enough catchy title. The thing about Rex Murphy is that he is smarter then us all and he knows it. Reading Rex Murphy is a trying experience, a frustrating ordeal that has you longing to find the biggest heaviest thesaurus and dropping it on the head of this erudite blow hard. so I plugged away, brushing of references to Othello, and Oscar Wilde, I was 3/4 of the way through, when I read this "-he wanted the public to pay for his chewing gum- is, if not the straw that snapped the dromedary's spine", that was it, that was the straw that snapped this dromedary's spine, I at that moment threw the Globe across the room with an arghhh....Mr. Rex, yes you are my intellectual superior, but why oh why did you have say dromedary instead of camel, why Rex..... the thing is Rex, the gist of your column could have been summed up in well a sentence or even in your title, the lexicon acrobatics that fills the body of your column, is pure self promotion. So Mr. Rex yes you are my intellectual superior, and yes I could only dream to have your vocabulary, but get over it, substance over style old buddy.


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